Shamanic evocation fails…

Although I have a good relationship with my servitors, Lazarus and Socrates, I had no idea what they looked like. I built the fetishes that give me the physical link to them, but that doesn’t mean that it is the form they have taken in the spiritual/astral realm. I meditated last night with the intention of completing my ‘Conjuration Six – Shamanic Evocation’ by attempting to meet each of my servitors in the non-physical realm. My wife hasn’t felt the presence of Socrates for a while now, mostly because I have him out on information collection missions pretty much at all times, so I figured I would only meet Lazarus if I was successful.

I started my meditation, and my physical detachment and visualization techniques, which made me slip into my dual awareness very quickly. As a part of my technique I use a progressive mental detachment that ends in complete dual awareness and lets my astral self take control of the situation. As I progressed, I felt myself changing, and by the time the technique was finished, I was the same animal that my guide was. My senses were heightened and I could feel the strength in my body.

I smelled something. Something far off. A scent that was familiar to me, and yet I did not know it at all, as I had never experienced senses like this before. I decided to follow the scent in hopes that it would take me to Lazarus. After some travel within the void, with the smell I was tracking a good ways off, my spirit guide walked in from the side and stopped directly in front of my path with a posture that felt like ‘none shall pass’. As I approached him I instinctively went into some sort of submission routine with my guide, which was probably a really good thing after the posture he had towards me the first time I met him. It felt like a master and student relationship.

I asked him what he was doing here, as it was not my intention to bother him. He responded in his deep, powerful voice:

Walk with me.

You have been doing well since the last time we met, as you have learned to protect your child and mate much better.

In the wild, some of the most dangerous encounters a family can have come not from outside influences, but from the male. Of course we are not the physical of our kind, merely the spirit of their energy and way of life, but that danger is still there.

One day you will not need your creations. Your owl friend is a great ally to have for now, but one day you will not require his services and will need to set him free. Your other creation…

Your other creation is fine…for now.

I know you came here to meet him, but you are not ready. He is a shifter, and they can be dangerous. They have no true form, no balance with any of the forces that drive the universe, which makes them unpredictable. He will become…

We will deal with that when the time arises. And always remember to treat your enemies according to your true nature.

You should go now and reflect on what you have learned both in life and through your meditations. There is more to be learned from them than what lies on the surface.

I never asked more than that one question, as I knew he would give me the information I needed. I felt like the question was unnecessary, but tolerated due to my lack of experience. I think I will adopt the ëdo not speak unless asked a question’ policy on our next visit.

There were many short and long pauses in what he said, but there is no good way to express them in text. Many of the pauses seemed to be a part of the meaning. Subtile difference in his posture were also a part of the message that are hard to describe. When he dismissed me I thanked him and returned the way I came, gradually coming out of my meditation and bringing that peaceful feeling and relaxation up with me into the physical world.

I never did meet Lazarus, but I could tell that my guide really did not think it was the right thing to do, so I respected his wishes and wisdom. I will not try and meet Lazarus again until I am told that I am ready to see him.

Based on body language and inference, I could tell that he didn’t like Lazarus, or the way he handled the situation with my wife’s ex-boss. I’m starting to find out that he doesn’t follow orders as well (if at all) when it’s a beneficial act, but he has been overdoing the ones involving red and black magick. I learned a lot from making him, but earlier posts will tell you that I did not make him perfectly. I was also in a very bad place mentally, which affects his nature because that was part of what created him.

It’s a learning process every day if you spend the time to look for ways to grow and continue your journey. Chaos has led me into so many spiritual beliefs that I have nowhere near the same outlook on anything anymore. With these acceptances, and the original reason I got into magick out of my hands, I have few desires of what to change or influence in my life. All I seem to crave now is more insight into the true nature of things. Chaos can involve or not involve any belief system you want, even Chaos. Life, death, everything come from Chaos. Everyone is part of it, only whether or not they are practicing the art of Chaos is the question.

As you can see, I have plenty to meditate and reflect on for a while.

The saga continues…

Not being one to leave well enough alone, I decided to lock myself in my private space last night and get down to the serious business of seeing just exactly what in the hell has been going on over the last couple days. To really get the deep answers I need to be in my sacred place with all of the proper tools in place. So, I lit my incense, my candles, got my journal, and brought my fetishes into the center of my table.

I have found that a direct presence by my fetishes (especially Socrates) can help my tarot cards produce incredibly focused and succinct answers to some very difficult questions. Last night I wanted more information about what happened with my wife’s little visitor, and how that relates to what I’m doing with my magic. Here is what I received:

“The warning that came during the half-sleep was from an evil entity that died a long time ago.
The binding will, despite their opposition, allow them to be idled and grant the authority of will over them.
Regardless of objections, the act of binding will benefit the marriage and provide protection.”

Well, that pretty much summed everything up for me. It’s all about the work I’m doing on binding entities to objects, and the fact that I am on the correct path with it. Recently, I learned about Goetia, and the story that Solomon had demons bound to do his will during his reign. I have read objections by people about this method of using demons, because it basically amounts to slavery. My initial intention was never to bind a spirit so I could control it, I was interested in binding it so I could suppress it.

There is one particular entity out there that is far too interested in my wife, and it’s not a friendly little beast either. Our current guess is that it’s a remnant from someone she knew when she was younger, and this thing has been following her even throughout she has moved a couple of times. This entity is one of the major motivators I had for starting with magic, and defending my family from the presence of it, and any others that may crop up in the future, has been the largest topic for my research.

That all being said, I guess I need to decide where I stand morally on the topic of enslaving an entity. I’ve already come to peace with imprisonment, but I think forcing it to do my will takes it another step further. I guess a lot of it would depend on the entities original intention. I would never capture something innocuous and force it into slavery, but should I take advantage of something that was out to harm me and my family? Is it more cruel to simply lock it away for an eternity than it is to let it get out and do something? These questions will take lots of pondering and consultation with other entities.

Even with those questions left unanswered, I am still actively pursuing the methods I will use for binding. It will be a while before I am ready to do my first one, but I can see it coming in the distance.

Conjuration One – Sorcery Evocation

Last night I started my journey with the Liber KKK. The first part of the training is the sorcery area, and I started at the absolute beginning. I created two (as suggested as an alternative) different fetishes; one to implement force of will, and the other to bring me knowledge and information.

As my representation of the force of will, I made a coiled serpent, ready to strike. My information and knowledge fetish is a very simplified owl form. Both of these items were made out of candle wax, which I molded in layers while still in liquid form. Yes, it got incredibly hot, and the process required a few breaks for finger and hand cooling. After I was satisfied with the construction of my fetishes, I anointed them with my blood and placed them in a prominent place in my home, and named them Socrates and Lazarus. When I move into my new home, they will reside in my private office, making conversations with them much less awkward than doing it in front of the rest of the family.

I’m not sure about when to move on to the second conjuration, or if it’s even necessary. I have been a student of the Tarot for many years, and I am quite familiar with how the divination process works with them. I read the warning about it being too difficult to use during the shamanistic portion of the training, but my familiarity with the tarot would make it easier for me to interpret than a set of simple runes would. I like my rune set, but they provide such a simplistic set of answers compared to the Tarot that I find them vague and irrelevant.

I’ll ask Socrates and Lazarus how they think I should proceed.