(A Lot) More about servitors…

Since my last post, I have had many questions asking for more clarification about servitors and other entities that people encounter. I am far from an expert on the matter, but I can definitely relate what I know and my experiences with the process. A good starting place is this article by Fenwick Rysen. It suffers from a few of the problems that plague Chos in general, especially since it only talks about sigils. Yes, they are a good tool to use, but they are far from the only way a well trained Chaote can get things done. They are more of a cheat for people who don’t want/aren’t able to spend the time to get into the true core of Chaos.

Definitions

In my last post I didn’t define things very well. I said this blog wasn’t going to be about teaching people, but I think this is going to have to be one of the few exceptions I make, just so people know what in the hell I’m talking about. Also, the terms servitor, egregore and fetish are all used so loosely, it’s only fair to express the way that I use them.

A servitor is simply a created being designed for some purpose. This entity has the functionality of whatever its creator has given to it, and its strength is limited only by the amount of energy put in to it and/or the abilities of the caster.

An egregore is just like a servitor, only it has taken on a will of its own. It can do things without commands, but will most likely stay within the realms of the intent of its original creation.

Those definitions are pretty much verbatim with the article I linked above, and serve in my mind as the working definitions.
A fetish, a term which I use occasionally in my posts, is merely a physical representation of the entity or force that you are trying to create. So, my crafted statue of Lazarus (my servitor) is the fetish, and Lazarus himself is the servitor. Sometimes I will refer to lazarus as a fetish, because that’s the part I interact with to give commands and receive information. Unlike others, I claim no developed psychic abilities, and I can only feel a presence if something is right on top of me or extremely powerful. I have to rely on a sensitive to know when my own creations have returned from their errands.

Servitor Creation

There are as many ways of creating a servitor as there are magical disciplines. It may be banned or taboo within some practices, but the tools needed are probably there, or easily obtained. If you read a lot of modern information on Chaos, almost every piece of it is based on sigil use. This causes me a major problem for a number of reasons.

One of the big reasons to use a sigil is to get your intent out of your consciousness and into your subconscious, which is one of the goals of Chaos in general. This creates a problem in that the destruction of the sigil, as is the practice of many Chaotes, leaves no physical link with the servitor. This physical link allows for easier communication, the ability to add energy easier, and destruction of the servitor is the need arises. If you don’t have this link, and you’re not sensitive in a way that truly allows you to know its presence, wellbeing, attitudes, intentions, and a myriad of other things, the physical link is one of the most simple ways of getting that information.

This physical link can be established by creating a ëfetish’, or physical representation, of the servitor. It is not part of the creation of the servitor, that is still done with the method of your choosing, but during the casting process you establish a link from it to the fetish, and a link between you and the fetish. The fetish simply becomes that physical link that allows us to have an easier time interacting with a servitor without having to cast a spell every time we want to send it a message. Once that link is established, orders can be given by simply talking to the item, which makes it easy and convenient.

Your other option, if you’re really against the physical link, is to get really, really good at astral projection and meditation. Then you can find out where your servitor is, communicate with it, and all the other things you need to do. The only problem with this method, is it takes a while. First, you have to be good at AP, and then you have to spend the time to do it every time you want to do something with your servitor. This is a challenging, time-consuming way to operate, which can lead to neglect.

The only downside to creating the link with the fetish and the servitor, is it take a whole lot more energy. Simple gnosis is not, in my experience, enough to create the binding in a single session. If sigils are the only thing that the caster is familiar with, I would recommend splitting the process up into much smaller spells, and building the whole thing just a little at a time. Also, a form a gnosis should be used that is a little more difficult. Sacrifice and difficulty of achievement creates a deeper, longer lasting gnosis, which can impart more energy into your intentions.

My best results have come from the use of Meditation for thoughtless Gnosis and implantation of intent in the subconscious, astral projection for Gnosis that causes visualization of intent and the actual formation of the entity, and the use of my own blood for pain induced Gnosis and energy from the personal sacrifice of my life essence. It’s not a quick and/or easy process, but it works well when done properly.

The Egregore Problem

There are a few ways that a servitor can become an egregore. First, conversion from servitor to egregore is usually a slow process, not something that is immediately identifiable as a specific moment in time when it happened. Most egregores I have encountered exist because they were intended to be an egregore, neglected, or just poorly designed in the first place.
Some egregores are made from the beginning to be completely autonomous entities with a broad purpose in mind. Of course, these can be benevolent, neutral, or malevolent entities, and may be autonomous, but because of their design, they are drawn or limited to interactions with certain people or things. A well built Egregore can serve a family for generations, protect secrets, or even torment an entire bloodline for ages.

The poorly designed egregores can be a nuisance, but are usually so weak, or so disjointed in their design, that they can’t influence much, and their presence is short as their intentions are easily drawn elsewhere. For example, if someone builds a servitor to help them get revenge on a certain person, and the target dies (whether from an untimely demise or from the decay of time), if the creator didn’t build some sort of self destruct into the thing (yes, you can do that, most easily by restricting where it can feed from), or doesn’t destroy it after it feels its mission is complete, it may have enough freedom in its created purpose that it can do what it wants. With a lack of target, our example servitor becomes an egregore, and would probably randomly cause problems for people that resemble somehow the original target, as they are still heavily drawn to acting out their created purpose.

The egregores that are servitors that were neglected in some way are the ones that I feel the most sorry for, and the ones I fear the most. These entities, depending on how they were designed, can be lonely, bored, and have a wide variety of intentions. Much like the poorly designed servitors, many will continue on with their original design, but some will be powerful enough to make their own choices completely. These entities can seek revenge for the neglect, and may continue a habit of this on similar targets. Some might need to feed and not have been taught to just take a little bit from many sources, and might be a heavy energy drain on the people it targets. There are all sorts of things that can go terribly wrong with a neglected egregore, which can also include being lonely and attaching themselves to people that don’t necessarily want or understand them.

So, egregores aren’t necessarily bad, they are just an indicator of many aspects of the person that created them. My wife has one that is a remnant from one of her sister’s previous relationship. Her long-time boyfriend was a powerful Satanist and adored my wife very much. After he left her sister, he eventually fell out of the occult, and the malevolent entity that he had created eventually became an egregore. So now there is an incredibly powerful, malevolent being that is a problem for my wife because it also has some of that love that the creator had for her, just in a twisted, neglected sort of way.

Final Thoughts

My best piece of advice is this: Make really specific servitors. Don’t try and make one that will be your mighty catch-all being, make multiple smaller ones that take care of specific tasks. I have one for information gathering, I have one for something akin to remote viewing (only far more diverse), and I have Lazarus, who is designed to be the interaction of my will in the physical and spiritual worlds. They all have self-destruct mechanisms, and they only have abilities that are within their design, with no decision-making abilities granted, and energy appropriate for their purpose. They are simply drones with only enough autonomy for what I assign them. It may sound like a really cool idea (and it is) to make something intelligent, autonomous, and powerful, but the maintenance and problems that come along with it just aren’t worth it most of the time.

As for what you do with a servitor, I can’t help you there. Everyone has their own goals and agendas. Just remember that your imagination, and what you’re willing to put into the creation, are the only limiting factors. Nothing is true, everything is permitted isn’t just some nifty slogan, truly internalizing it, and trying to free your brain from it’s own self-imposed limitations, is the ultimate goal. The more we can actually grasp the concept, the options it opens in our lives become entirely beyond our capacity to understand.

Involuntary Full Disclosure…

My wife knows that I practice Chaos, but she doesn’t really know any of the details. She knows I do a lot of meditation, some astral projection, and even draw a bit of blood once in a while. What she never knew was how I do what I do, or exactly what I’m doing with my magick.

The other night we were talking about spirits and such, and since my wife is a sensitive, she mentioned that there was a problem. There was currently something lurking around me. She said it had never been human, it was something else, but it was constantly around me. She said it seemed to want something from me. More specifically, it wanted me to cast a spell or do some other work of magick. She sensed that it was upset that I hadn’t done much magick over the past few months and was bored. It also started feeding off her. She said it wasn’t much energy, but it was annoying as hell.

She said I looked wide-eyed and just stunned when she was talking about this entity, and she pressed me for answers as to what I knew, since it was obvious I had some idea as to what was going on. So, I finally admitted that it was my creation. In previous posts I have mentioned Lazarus, one of my early fetishes, and it seems that he’s not very good with idle time. So, I had to explain to her that he was mine, and she was absolutely amazed that someone could create an actual entity. So, I explained more about some of the objects that are in my little sanctuary, and a bit more about what I do that she didn’t know about before. I still didn’t tell her about exactly how my rituals go, but she doesn’t need to know that, and imitation of those rituals probably wouldn’t work for her. Every Chaote has to design his own way of doing magick.

After our talk, my wife is fascinated about what I do, even though it is tempered by a bit of fear that it can actually do something. I explained to her my principals on how I do things, and which forces I am and am not willing to work with. She was a bit more comfortable after that, but she still has some reservations.

She told my brother-in-law about what we believe, and some of the stuff that I do, but it didn’t bother me. He’s so medicated these days that nobody would believe him if he ran around blabbing to everyone. Besides, if he does, Lazarus will have a new source of food.

Astral Projection is apparently out…

Quite a while ago I posted about an amazing experience I had during astral projection. Since that post, I have continued my meditation and projection with increasingly good results. I have learned to meditate within a projection, which has given me access to some really interesting experiences and results. I haven’t been doing it since there was the bad energy polluting the ether, mostly because I know that I am heavily influenced by these forces while in this state.

I had a close friend, whom I trust very much, do a reading about when I can return to the astral, and the simple answer is never. There is a heavy element of danger involved, which is why I stopped projecting in the first place. Like most things, energies can have a positive and negative influence to them, and I guess I draw in the negative energy while in my astral state.

This isn’t something that can be solved by some hippie visualization of surrounding myself in white light, this is the fact that I have tapped into the astral well on a very deep level, but I got too good at it too fast to develop my safeguards for it along the way. It seems that something has noticed that and is lurking about in the ether waiting for my return.

I had been having strange, intrusive experiences while projecting before I stopped, but I figured that was part of the larger picture of imbalance in the ether. It turns out that I was wrong.

Being the smart little Chaote that I am, I built some objects and did some spell work to help me get deeper into astral projection. I even incorporated a bit of science to help me manipulate my brainwaves to get into that deep theta state within just a couple of minutes after I started meditating.

The warning I have for others is this: Don’t try and force your way into the astral too fast. Yes, there are amazing things when you get down deep enough, and we all want that, but part of it naturally taking a long time is your mind’s way of developing defenses about whatever may be malevolent towards you.

So, this wonderful tool has been cut off by my own haste, and I have nobody to blame but myself. Deep inside the ether there are the answers to everything, and the ability to shift reality more easily than you ever could from the outside. It’s like having direct access to the source of all things in the universe and time.

Luckily, I am not so arrogant that I can’t accept there are some things beyond my control at this time, and that there are things I simply shouldn’t do. I will check again after a year or so to see if it is safe for me, but I will have to accept the fact that it may be removed from my grasp forever, or accept the alarming amount of risk that would be involved if I reentered the Astral.

If all you experience while projecting is unicorns and rainbows, you’re either fooling yourself or doing it wrong.

Return of the presence…

Something…
In previous posts, I first thought I might be going crazy, but it turned out to be a really large spell effect that I was feeling. My boss had been gone since December 23, and returned yesterday from his little vacation.
I hadn’t felt the presence of the spell effect since he was gone, but upon his return, it was back in the picture. It hasn’t seemed to grow since I last felt it, which is good as I was concerned about it getting out of control due to its rapid initial growth. It still had the same active, agitating qualities that it did when it was here last time.

I find the presence of the energy rather unnerving. It feels very active and mischievous, which may be good as a spell effect, but it makes it a real bitch to work when it’s constantly around. I know that its presence at my work is entirely my fault, as the ether is very literal in what it provides you. It was my intention that he should experience the paranormal and unexplainable, but I never said it could only happen at his house, nor did I exclude the workplace from his experiences.

These unexpected consequences are the reason that we Chaotes must start small and follow our training. These little experiments are what teach us to think deeper to try to encompass all of these possible consequences in our thoughts, before we set our will in motion.

I was discussing this exact issue with my wife last night, and she asked what I was going to do about it. I told her that I figure I have three options:

* Dispel the energy and cast it again.
* Build a shield against the energy so it doesn’t bother me at work.
* Do nothing.

I’m not really interested in dispelling the energy and casting it again. The energy present is perfect for the job at hand, and possibly even better than I had imagined when I first built the spell. Getting rid of such a perfectly purposed energy seems like such a waste, and it’s nice to have it around once in a while, just so I know that it’s doing the job that I created it for.

Building a shield sounded like the answer for quite a while, but then I started thinking deeper. A shield against the energy, unless built just right, could have the potential to shield me from something else that I want to know about. Just because I can’t feel something doesn’t mean it can’t have an effect on me. Also, I haven’t done enough of this type of spell to know if this is what the energies usually feel like. If it is, shielding myself against feeling it could also leave me open to attacks by similar energies, irregardless of their source.

So, it looks like doing nothing may be my only good option for the moment. That feeling of nigh anxiety makes me consume tobacco like a fiend, but there are worse things than that. I’m not comfortable trying to manipulate which energies I’m exposed to at this point because I honestly don’t understand them well enough to make an educated decision.

I guess that until my boss has, and admits to, his experiences, I will have some strange times here in my office. Even with the Universe, it seems that all things come with some sort of price.

Independent verification…

Sweet, sweet independent verification. It makes you feel SO damn sane sometimes.
Part of what has been bothering me lately is I have been feeling an increased amount of negative energy around me. Instances of it have lasted a lot longer than they ever have before, so I started questioning what was causing it. One of my sensitive acquaintances hadn’t said anything, and I really wanted independent verification of what I was feeling. Being the person that brings it up makes you wonder if mentioning it just made people think that there was something going on, or perhaps it was hardly noticeable until you brought it to their attention.

This has been growing slowly stronger over the past couple weeks, and kind of came to a head yesterday. With all sorts of negative energy beating on me, it made me wonder if maybe there really was something wrong with me. And then last night it happened. Out of nowhere, “I think there’s something with us right now. “ I haven’t heard those words in months, and they never sounded sweeter to my ears. That opened up the conversation about what has been happening over the past few weeks and I felt much more sane by the end of the conversation.

I’m not sure how many of you are sensitive to energies/spirits/whatever, but it seems to manifest itself differently in people I know that experience them. My wife’s sensations all show up in her stomach, like some sort of wacky ethereal flu. Negative energies hit me almost like an anxiety/paranoia issue. It’s not that I feel anxious about anything specific, or even have any paranoid thoughts, but it seems to have that same physical effect if you took all the emotions out. Does that make sense?

Anyway, all of this activity is heavier than I have ever felt in this area, with just one exception. So that makes me wonder where all of this is coming from. My first idea is that this doesn’t seem random as it has been increasing over time. It hasn’t been just some fluke encounter, it’s been repeated and the intensity increased. This could mean it’s an entity with interest in me, or someone around me. I’m not so damn narcissistic that I think it all has to be about me.

Another idea is that the problems in the ether (link, link) are clearing up because something is being ejected into a more tangible form. I hope that idea isn’t true because it has all sorts of wild ramifications.

[Right as I got to this point in writing this post, I had to speak with a co-worker and use the restroom. While sitting on my porcelain pondering throne, I figured it out.]

Screw my other ideas, I know exactly why this is happening. Part of Chaos Magic is learning to push things from conscious desires into subconscious thoughts. It’s that subconscious part of the mind that doesn’t have to operate within the same rules as our conscious minds, so it can actually do magic. The problem with becoming advanced in this technique is it works really well, and you may forget entirely that you have cast a spell until it manifests. This is one of those times.

The energies that I am feeling right now are of my own creation. That also explains why they felt like a problem inside of myself instead of external energies. I didn’t notice them first arriving because, as a manifestation of my will, I’m already comfortable with them being around, I’m just not used to the intensity or sheer amount of energy that has been around.

So, there you go. I finally have it figured out. In fact, I figured it out in the middle of this post. I’m sure I could rewrite this post a bit so it doesn’t read so abruptly, but this is how real life works. You ponder something and then you get that “Ah ha! “ moment in which everything become clear.

I can’t imagine how powerful this thing would be if I used blood. *shudder*