A blog by any other name…

One of the recurring themes in this blog is that there is a dark entity that enjoys my wife and can be quite bothersome.  I’ve mentioned him before, and even gave some vague information as to some of his doings.  He’s one of the reasons I became a practitioner of the occult rather than just confining myself to the study of it.  I still enjoy my studies, but in a conversation with C the other day I noticed something odd.

I have spent countless hours reading blogs, I currently have 32 different books in my occult/spiritual library and have read every one of them, and I participate in a couple different online communities (those are a bit spotty).  The one thing that I have noticed after all this time is there is very little mention anywhere about the ‘darker’ side of all of this.  Sure, there are some old grimoires you can get your hands on that will tell you to boil a live cat, but that’s not what I’m talking about.  What I mean is that very few people talk about the big problems.  If they mention anything negative (especially in the newer books) they usually gloss over it and tell you to do a banishing ritual or make your chakras glow.  Then they get back to the business of telling you how wonderful everything can be with magic, spirituality or other flavors of woo.

Now, I agree that keeping a positive spin on things is good.  Also, posting information about how to do rotten things to people can be a bit dangerous to everyone involved.  I have just noticed that there is a serious lack of caution about what really is lurking on the other side.  Yes, there are kind and benevolent entities and energies out there, and those are definitely a good thing to focus on.  Those kinds of energies tend to keep the rotten ones away because you’re surrounding yourself with something very positive,.  The little annoying dark entities tend to avoid that like the plague as there are too many easier targets out there.

What they don’t talk about enough, in my opinion, is that ‘dark side’.  I know that ‘downer’ books don’t sell, so I know why they don’t put much (if any) reference in them, but there are people who come to the occult looking for answers to problems they already have.  There are also those that start to play in the darker side of things and don’t know what to expect.  So, I guess my blog is one of those exceptions to the rules.

The last thing I want to do is sound like an angst-filled rebellious teenager that wants to piss off a set of staunchly religious parents.  I listen to myself in conversations with C and others and sometimes I have to stop and think about how entirely ridiculous it all sounds.  This blog is probably considered to be one of the biggest piles of delusional, wooist nonsense that exists on the internet.  Then I think about everything that has gone on with C and me over the years, and it brings me sharply back into focus.  We have done our experiments, C and I have blind-tested each other with shocking results, and we have admitted when things have worked and when they haven’t.  None of this would I provide as ‘evidence’ that anyone else should even believe in the things that I do as experiences don’t tend to count in that type of thing.  But to have lived all of this myself, having approached it with an objective mind, and being the biggest skeptic of my own experiences, I am still led to conclusions that I would deem ‘madness’ had I not experienced them all myself.

All of that being said, people interested in the occult, or even spirituality in general need to understand clearly that there is a second side to every coin.  There are unpleasant, malevolent forces out there in there ether.  There are lots of different names people give them based on personal beliefs or the way the entity behaves.  There are also energies that are ‘dark’ in their nature.  Yes, most practitioners steer clear of them, and for good reason.  Just as positive forces can bring about positive results and entities, negative energies can bring about the opposite.  Practice wisely.

This still leaves us with the problem of the few that encounter these darker forces without having brought it upon themselves.  There are entities who look for positive people and do bad things, there are some that attach to people with natural gifts and feed off of them, and some people just get unlucky and bump into the wrong thing at the wrong time.  With a lack of information out there, one is left to a long road of experimentation to handle these kinds of situations.  I’ve heard plenty of the ‘command it to leave’ and ‘just surround yourself with positive energy’ advice, and it works well on little nuisances, but the big ones are far beyond that.  A blanket of happy thoughts is not enough to keep people safe from them, nor is a simple act of banishment.

I feel really bad for people that are in this situation because that’s where I started.  In my time of heavy practice we have managed to stop the physical interactions (for the most part), and he has moved on to manipulating things from a distance.  To the ‘help there’s something in my house’ perspective, most people would see him as ‘gone’ since he doesn’t do things in our presence anymore, but he’s still there.  It has only changed the way he interacts.  he has been ‘driven out of the house’ for the most part, but he’s still there in the wings; pulling strings and manipulating people.  So, yes, we have made progress, but everything is far from solved.

How would someone that is not heavily involved in the occult handle such a problem?  For me the answer was to embrace the occult so I could fight fire with fire, but I know that can’t be the answer for everyone.  At some point I will find a way to finish our business with him, but it could still be years before things are fully resolved.  Things may never be fully resolved.  So how would the average person handle it?  The answer is, they couldn’t.  They would need outside help.  If they found the wrong help it could anger an entity and make things worse (read a couple interesting stories about that), which is obviously not a good situation.  If they have someone help them and they only push it back beyond arm’s reach, then they would think things are resolved, even though the entity would still be present.  I see that as a dangerous.  Our situation is probably worse now than it was when he would physically interact with C simply because he’s had to get more creative, more complex, and more subversive.  This means that the things that he does have a bigger punch to them and they’re harder to see coming.

Even with help from someone that could fully resolve the situation, it could take months or years to help someone with a large entity problem.  That’s a ton of time and effort to give to someone who will most likely not see the results after a point.  After a while it would seem like you were just stringing them along if they didn’t have any way to sense the entity themselves.  I guess C and I are lucky in that regard.

I guess the whole point of this is to warn people who think magic can be all wine and roses that there really is an ugly side of things.  It doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily have problems with it, but it’s out there and it does happen to good people who have done nothing to invite it.  There is a serious lack of information out there about what to with something that’s a big problem, and I’m not much help there yet either.  I have the structure for many things, but figuring out how to actually implement some portions of the magic involved is a very difficult and long process.

This wasn’t intended as a dire warning of impending doom to anyone that encounters the spiritual.  As a physical-world analogy, think of it like this:  No matter how safe of a driver you are, no matter how cautious, the other drivers on the road can still cause you problems.  Even if you choose to not drive to be ‘safe’, things happen to pedestrians, bicyclists, and sometimes people drive a car through the front of a convenience store.  It’s just a part of the reality of being alive and having cars on the road.  Most of us will never encounter anymore than just a little fender-bender, or some jerk cutting us off, but there are times when the video that gets posted on YouTube makes us wonder how reality can get so strange.

Just keep your eyes open, and if something does go wrong, do your homework and try to understand it.

Be well,


The infamous 100th post…

Well, November is gone, which means that I can be a human being again, rather than a NaNoWriMo obsessed typing machine.  This year I actually succeeded in my 50,000 word goal, and had it blown away by the end.  Is the book done?  No.  I’m only at about the halfway point.  Is the book good?  Who knows.  That will only be known if I ever finish it and let someone read it.  The important part is that the book is coherent, the characters are not complete cardboard cutouts, and I have a clear path to the end.  So, it was a good month of writing and gave me quite the needed confidence boost when it comes to that sort of thing.

So, with that done, on with the show!

Can you believe it’s the 100th post?  It works out to a little less than a post a week since this blog was started.  Of course, they have been sporadic for a myriad of different reasons, yet here we are anyway.  I went back a read my first few posts and it helped me realize how far I’ve really come in my practice.  I don’t know how things are for others, but every time I do something, successful or not, it brings me more questions than answers.  Even after all these years I have a huge list of things that I still need to try, test, and learn about.  I’ve had a bad habit lately of reading too many books.  While not normally considered a ‘bad’ thing, they have just made the laundry list of what I need to explore a lot longer.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy it.  It just makes me laugh sometimes how I can always seem to create more for myself to do than I can possibly get done.

Word is spreading slowly in my personal circles that my wife and I don’t quite fit the molds that everyone else does.  This, of course, has led to people keeping us a little more at arms-length, but that’s quite fine.  We’re both very non-social people in person so it’s been nice to not have to do as much to maintain those relationships.  Social situations are difficult for both of us, so a touch of standoffishness is a welcomed gift.

As word slowly spreads there are whispers of ‘that’s not real’, ‘both of them are just crazy’, ‘they’re going to hell’, and other fun references that we promptly ignore.  But as the word has spread, these same people who want less to do with us, for whatever their personal reason is, also have been having a new kind of conversation with us.  It’s usually a phone call or text that starts with ‘Can I ask you something and have it stay between us?’

For all of their doubt and religious judgement, when something happens that they can’t explain they come to us.  We’ve had questions about entity attacks, bumps in the night, and even requests for tarot readings.  It seems that everyone that is so quick to reject our beliefs is a lot more comfortable with them when they become useful.  We have found with a couple of them that, after we talk about things or give them a hand with something, they realize that we’re not playing a game, we’re not teenagers that want to rebel against some societal norm, and we’re not doing our thing under the control of some ‘devil or ‘demon’ or whatever it is that they fantasize as the invisible bad guy.

We’re just looking for answers to questions that we have, and the path towards those answers is along a road less traveled.  That’s all.

I guess the point of this rambling is that there seems to be a small clutch of people out there that are fascinated by all of this, but they’re still terrified of it.  Other than online, I have never willingly admitted to anything that I do.  My wife is always the one that outs me, and I refuse to talk about specifics with anyone that I know in person.  I tend to be vague or use analogy if they insist on speaking about what I do, but I will have limited conversations about some of the topics surrounding it.  I’m still a bit defensive about the whole thing I guess.  It’s a natural reflex when you live in a very conservative, religious town.

How is the practice itself going?  Good question.  Sometimes I forget that it has become a part of my everyday life; so the reading, the journaling, and the small work of all of it doesn’t really seem notable like it did in the beginning.  When I first started this blog, a couple hours of thought dedicated to Chaos and related happenings was worth of a blog post, these days it’s just part of who I am.  I have reminders of my beliefs and practice sprinkled throughout my house and I’m comfortable in what I do, so there isn’t really a second thought given to being in that mindset now.  Perhaps that means I’ve going from ‘practicing’ to ‘being’, not that it matters.

In the last month the holidays have taken their time, new video games have taken a slice, writing has taken its time, but somehow I actually got a bit of spiritual work done in there.  My brother-in-law and sister-in-law are both big ‘you guys are kooks’ believers, but that has changed.  He, loving Christian soul that he is, was attacked by an entity.  So, my wife’s phone started getting filled with texts from her sis, concerned not only about the attack but that it seemed to change his personality after it happened.

I told them to look for answers within their own faith (prayer, etc) since I operate outside of their normal comfort zone.  Turns out they did but it didn’t help.  So, my wife and I were asked for guidance and intervention into both the attack and the attitude change.  It turned out to be no big deal, just a one time attack, so we didn’t have to do anything to chase it off.  The attitude shift was another thing though.  The entity that attacked him was a strong one and left physical marks on him.  This not only flipped his reality of what can and can’t happen, but it also left a bit of a taint on him from the encounter.  Sadly, I can’t do anything about either unless people are willing to cooperate.  I can’t tell you what’s going on if your faith doesn’t allow you to accept the answers, and I can’t do anything about a spiritual residual left behind if your rules are ‘whatever you do, it can’t involve me’.  So, as we knew it would, it wore off and he returned to his previous state.  All I could have done was sped up the process a little.

It seemed odd to me though that someone would come to us for help but not be willing to be a part of the solution.  That would be like going to a doctor and telling him that you couldn’t be involved in the treatment.  The good part of the whole thing is that C and I had a chance to look at how things were interacting with others rather than being left with just our own experiences.  Those kinds of learning opportunities don’t come along terribly often, so it was all time well spent.

I suppose that’s it for the 100th post.  Nothing too exciting.  I still have some big projects coming up with regards to my magic, but they are long-term things.  I’m still working on effective use of magic within the astral.  My biggest problem is measuring it.  If I try Astral -> Physical magic I can look for results that I can measure and analyze.  Astral -> Astral magic though, not so much.  Everything within my meditation is subject to question just because of the nature of the mind and suggestibility.  So how then does one measure Astral magic results?  It’s a conundrum, and currently one of my biggest projects.