The cards are just so unbelievable sometimes…

English: Tarot cards. Français : Jeu de tarot....

English: Tarot cards. Français : Jeu de tarot. Différences avec l’image originale : Isolation du sujet : Arrière-plan blanc Élargissement de l’image (plus d’espace autour) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve been using tarot cards for quite a while now, and I have become accustomed to using and interpreting them.  They give me an incredible insight into many different topics, and are about the only diving tool that I have any faith in at all.  Despite this comfort and familiarity with them, sometimes they just astound me in ways I never thought possible.

When I was asking the cards about the topics in my previous post, it said one of the most important things I could do lay in my continuing and increasing of my writings.  I know that many of you do not know me on a personal level, but the writings aren’t usually a big deal for me.  Unless it’s something strange, I can read it (or discover it) and that’s it, so the slowing of my writings have become no big deal in my mind.  I was just writing down information that I knew anyway.

At the recommendation of the cards I began writing many of the things I have learned in recent times down to see if I could draw any new connections within the information, which is one of the bonuses that I do get from writing.  I’ve been writing almost every evening for the past few weeks, just purging all of the recent information I have onto paper (yes, paper).

Then it hit me.  My memory started to wane.  My short-term memory has gone to complete garbage.  Earlier in the week I received a text that a friend was coming to get me, replied to him, and about a half-hour later someone in the office said that my friend had been waiting outside the office for quite a while.  I know it only takes him about 5 minutes to get here, but when I asked him why he didn’t tell me he was coming he looked really confused.  I had no recollection of having received the text, or having sent a reply at all.  Nothing.  If I didn’t see the reply on my own phone I would have thought he was kidding.  It turns out that this is not the only isolated incident.

All of a sudden this is becoming a severe problem.  My short-term memory has gone to crap and my mid-term memory seems to be slipping a bit.  I had a med tweak not too long ago, so I’m pretty sure it has to do with that.  My hands shake, I can’t stay awake at work, and now I have to write everything down or I’ll forget it in a matter of minutes.

This is exactly what the cards were talking about.  Some of the big-time information that I have learned was committed to paper, and when I look at them now, they are like someone else wrote them. Weeks of information and insight would have been lost, and possibly not recovered.  I may have to become one of those crazy guys that is always talking into a micro recorder.

I’m fairly confident that switching back to my old medication routine (or a completely different set) will set everything on a solid path, but acting on the information given to me by the cards saved me from some serious loss of my studies.  Many of these little revelations lead to big ones later, and to have lost them would have been a shame.

If you use the tarot, listen well.  They can tell you more than you think.


I guess it’s a family thing…

English: Séance conducted by John Beattie, Bri...

English: Séance conducted by John Beattie, Bristol, England, 1872 from the Eugène Rochas Papers held at the American Philosophical Society Library. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My wife and I keep our beliefs and practices very private because of the nature of where we live and the nature of who we need to interact with.  We haven’t had any of our esoteric conversations around our daughter either.  We decided not to push her into anything as far as religion and spiritual belief is concerned.  The problem is that last night our entire plan when to crap.

My father asked her if she wanted to go into our bedroom and get her tablet (spoiled nerd) and she said she didn’t want to because there was a ghost.  We all just looked at each other.  He then asked her what she said back as a question: “There’s a ghost in there?”  “Yeah.  Mama’s tablet.”  She then ran off to the living room and stole my wife’s Nook.

My dad doesn’t believe in the same things we do, nor does he even have any idea of the direction our beliefs have gone, but he was even silent for a few moments.  I think we all asked each other where she learned that word, and none of us could come up with an answer at all.  TV at our house consists almost entirely of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse until she goes down for her nap/sleep.

Obviously she learned the word somewhere, but she used it entirely in context and knew what she was seeing/feeling.  At 2 1/2 years old, there isn’t much that can be done to explain what is going on, or even give her anything to do if one gets a bit rowdy with her.  Even her mother has tried to suppress her gift for so long that she has a hard time handling things for herself.

We agreed last night to just listen to her when she describes things of that nature, and as she grows older we’ll introduce her into some of the concepts that are involved with the process.  We’ll teach her to be proud of who she is, but appropriateness in handling it since it scares the living piss out of other people when you’re different in any way.  It scares them worse when you experience things entirely outside of their belief system.  Religious groups tend to have a set boundary of where things can go before it’s just too far to fit within the structure.  Then they yell ‘Heresy!’ or some other such crap and you’re ostracized.

Despite the freedoms given to us in this country, having different beliefs (especially ones that scare others) can still cause issues within your peers, and we all know that kids are some of the most cruel creatures on the face of the planet.  I will have to teach her not to be ashamed of who she is, but that there appropriate times to let people know who you are, and when to just play the game.  It sucks that she will have to do that, but sadly that’s the way things work, even in modern America; more so when you live in a small, religious community.

Of course, this could all just the imagination of a child and no big deal, but since she could have inherited this from her mother, it’s worth keeping an eye on.

Chaos is everywhere whether you like it or not.


The new mission is here…

New year's resolutions

New year’s resolutions (Photo credit: Brett Jordan)

Even though a lot of us don’t make New Year’s resolutions, and even mock others for making them, just talking about (not?) making them can get us thinking about things we need to change or do.  While I resolved to not make a resolution, I did start thinking about how big my magic to-do list has gotten in the past few months.  Between the holiday season, work, and Civilization 5 I have been neglecting my practice a bit.  While it’s a regular topic of conversation, actionable ideas and projects have just fallen by the wayside.

My wife gave me a nice calligraphy set for Christmas which I have been using to practice my Theban, but I don’t really consider that to be spiritual work, it’s more personal art with a magical flare.  Spiritual work for me involves reading, meditation, and practice of my trade.  Reading is always a part of me, even during the holiday season, but it was just reading some Grimoires and writing for the fun of it.  Serious work involves me paying heavy attention and taking notes.

The notes are worthless after I take them, they just implant things into my brain.  I got through college with a 3.753 GPA because of my ability to absorb information.  I did every scrap of homework, and wrote everything I could during the lecture.  Before my next exam I would write down key points from those notes and throw it all out.  I wouldn’t need them ever again.  No studying previous materials for a cumulative final, total recall on my statistics from two years prior in a logistics class, and I still use my calculus and statistics in our demographics studies here at work.

That’s what I aim for when I’m exposed to new materials within the magical world too.  I want total recall at any given moment from any source I’ve ever read.  I know I don’t quite have the ability to go that far, but full recollection from the important ones and conceptual recollection from the others is well within reason in my perception.

I ramble like this in person too.

Back to my original subject: I haven’t been getting anything done except a bit of pondering over past experience and trying to draw lines between some of the existing dots.  Nothing big has come up; just a to-do list of crap I need to learn, do, and experiment with.  The biggest thing I need to figure out is the transferral of terrestrial magic into the ether.  I need to take it with me to see what it does when it’s out in the wild.  That will be the first step towards learning to properly cast within the ether.  Rather that just think I’m casting, as with all my magic, I need to have things confirmed and tested.  The imagination is too strong to rely on such esoteric things.  If not, you could just be yelling ‘pew pew pew’ in your own mind as something shows you exactly how ineffective you really are.

Astral magic will be an interesting concept for me to explore.  The astral removes all the constraints that limit us in the physical world, and things like fireballs flying out of your ass become possible, but only within the astral.  The part I’m interested in is protection while in the astral (some ugly things can learn out there) and how spells within the astral can be used to affect the physical world.  If the origin of the magic has no physical boundaries, does it maintain that freedom as it transfers into the physical, or does it get to keep all/some of those freedoms as it passes over?  The spiritual embodiment of a person that appears in the astral, while their body exists in the physical world, could be interesting to manipulate to see the effect it can have.  If you blow an ass fireball at their astral self what would it do to their physical body?  Something mental?  A blow to their spirituality?  Nothing?

It’s those kinds of questions that I want to start answering in my work.  Obviously the ass fireball is quite the facetious example, but I’ve always used ‘blowing a fireball out of your ass’ as an example of the reasonable physical limitations of magic.  Sure, the odds are technically there, but making it actually happen is quite a different story, and hopefully not the focus of anyone who considers themselves a serious practitioner of anything.

As with all questions that are asked, many questions must be answered before those can be explored, and the testing of those hypotheses will only lead to more questions and testing.  For me to take magic seriously I have to approach it with the part of my mind that enjoys both the scientific method and statistics.  The scientific method gives us a model to question and test our hypotheses in a structured way, while statistical assumptions can be used on background information that we don’t have, and can accommodate (reasonably) concepts such as faith and other information we simply can’t (or don’t yet) know.  Statistics can also help us understand how the magic formulas that Peter Carroll provide can be applied in actual application.  We can apply our assumptions, confidence levels, standard deviations, outliers, and other things that help us make sense out of what we do.  While all things are Chaos, and Chaos is in all things, we rely on faith to blow the final fireball, and for some (me especially) that faith comes from knowledge.  It sounds a bit backwards, but it’s what works for me.

If people knew the extent to which they were exposed to magic every day they would probably crawl in a hole and cry.  Perhaps that would be a good topic for another post.